I believe all families have some sort of family lore, tragedies, and heartbreak that we question whether or not we should pass down to younger generations.  It can seem wrong to burden a child with the sad circumstances of the past.  This question has come to my mind over several topics.  But there is one that stands out in particular because of the reaction I get when I share it with others. 

When I was a child, my mother, grandmother and older siblings sang me an old folktale song called Babes in the Woods. It’s a tragic lullaby that tells the story of two children who were lost in the woods and ultimately die.  The last lines of the song have always been poignant to me- “Now don’t you remember poor babes in the Woods?”

As an adult, I have shared this song with my children and many others. People who have not grown up with this song think it is morbidly horrific and possibly borders on child abuse to sing it to a sleepy child. Haha.

I do understand why others feel this way yet I can’t leave this song in my past. I just can’t walk away from it. Perhaps it feels as if the poor babes in the woods are being left alone all over again- this time by me. 

I would like to share with you why this tragic little folk song means so much to me and how that relates to other life experiences. I hope you may relate as well.

1) Tradition– Babes in the Woods has been passed down in my family for generations. It was written in 1601 in England by Robert Yarrington, but I’m not sure how or when my family inherited the song. I do know my great grandparents sang it to my grandmother and her siblings shortly after WWI. Although I don’t know where they learned the song, I imagine it was sung to one of them by their parents. Passing down this song is passing down part of my history. The lyrics may be about two lost children but the tune and nostalgia that are sung tell a different story- a story of my family rocking in a chair, snuggled on a bed or pallet (if you are from the south you know what a pallet is!) and most importantly, being sung to by my mother and grandmother. The words may have been sad but there was safety in our connection and in the familiarity.

2) Inheritance– This is similar to tradition, but I believe deserves its own category. Growing up, I was just a poor, little Mississippi girl. We didn’t own fancy things or go on expensive vacations. However, I was raised on manners and kindness, good southern cookin’, and playing outside barefoot on hot summer days.  We caught crawfish, lizards and locusts.  We watched the Price is Right like it was part of our religion.  I remember falling asleep on my grandmother’s bed to the voice of Johnny Carson.  There was all the love, kindness, hardship, worries, stories and music a young girl could squeeze in to a budding life. I can’t give my own children the same childhood I had because times have changed so much and I also don’t live in my beloved home state anymore. I only have a few simple heirlooms that belonged to my grandparents. 

What I can hand down to my children are the stories and music that are written in my soul and part of my heritage.  But it’s up to me to recognize the treasure that they are and pass them down for that reason. It’s important for me to teach my children why these are some of the greatest gifts that can be handed down. If I don’t, the memories and songs could easily be forgotten instead of becoming the legacy they are meant to be. This is my inheritance and my responsibility.  Not all of the memories are sad or tragic, but a few are- and they belong too.

3) Nostalgia– Who doesn’t love the feeling of nostalgia- that feeling that takes you back to another time and place and often times with people who are no longer with us anymore?  If we can preserve memories, then we can tap into nostalgic feelings and remember and appreciate those blessed times of the past. Nostalgia is a little bit magical in my opinion. 

4) Resilience– We all have stories in our past or in our family’s past that are sad or uncomfortable. Often times, we leave them there because we want to forget. There are times where that may be best, appropriate and certainly understandable. But are we doing this too often? I believe the sad things that our family members went through and survived shows resilience! When I look back on the trials my grandparents and great grandparents went through- such as the Great Depression, the World Wars, and losing children, I feel a reverence and respect for them. I am in awe at their strength. When I in turn am going through a trial of my own, I think of them and how they survived much harder things.  It makes me realize that I come from strong stock. Their genes and blood run through me. I know if they could make it through what they did, then I can make it through my own trials too. Babes in the Woods is symbolic of the sad things that happen in this life.  My great grandmother believed it was important that children weren’t completely shielded from sad news and experiences.  She wanted us to have compassion, grit and resilience. It’s funny though, because even though she sometimes taught us the hard truth, all I remember about her is love.  

5) Understanding Feelings– Babes in the Woods is a reminder to me that not all stories have a happy ending. There are sad times in life. And while sad feelings are uncomfortable, they are part of life for all of us. Acknowledging sad feelings doesn’t give them more power. By understanding why we are sometimes sad, we are the ones who gain power and ultimately move on to joy. We can’t escape sadness so if we choose to give it a little bit of space, it won’t have to compete with the other elements and feelings of our life. Recognizing trials and tragedy as part of a beautiful life is profound. We shouldn’t feel shame about handing down a few sad stories that are written in our history. This is how we teach our children and grandchildren that it is okay to sometimes be sad. Feelings are temporary.  Our grandparents understood this.  It is why so many of them have said to us,  “This too shall pass.” 

6) Remembrance– Perhaps it is easier to let go of something that happened long ago but if there is a loss of a loved one, shouldn’t they be remembered? Who will tell their story if not us? Babes in the Woods is symbolic to me of those who have left this life, yet are still part of us and deserve to be remembered.  It makes me sad to think of how easily we can let some things go. We may find the words of this song sad, but what about the issue? Do we find it sad or even recognizable that we have lost some of our own?  I believe it is a form of respect to acknowledge our own babes in the woods-whether child or adult.

 I also believe this song is symbolic of how people taught their children.  They didn’t want their kids to get lost playing in the woods and they would sing them songs like this as a lesson.  I think that’s a neat part of our history- being taught by lore and song. You won’t find it dying out with me. 

I’d like to share with you the words of Babes of the Woods.  There are a few variations and I believe our version changed a little over time- as with the tune as well. This is the version sung to me from my Smith County, Mississippi folks. 

       My dears do you know? 

That a long time ago

Two poor little children

Their names I don’t know 

Were stolen away 

On a bright summer’s day 

And were left in the woods

I’ve heard people say 

Now when it was night

So sad was their plight

The Sun Went Down

And the Moon Gave no light

They sobbed and they sighed

But little they cried

Then the poor little children 

Just laid down and died

And when they were dead

The robins so red

brought pretty green leaves

And over them spread

And all the night long

They sang them a song

Poor Babes in the Woods

Poor Babes in the Woods

Now Don’t You Remember Poor babes in the woods? 

So, the next time you think about a story or even a tragedy from your family history, I would recommend that you sit with it a while and dissect why that story was important enough to be handed to you and if it could serve a purpose today with the younger generations.  I suggest you try to look beyond the surface feelings and dive deeper into the lessons and meanings behind it.  Is there something to be gained? The answer won’t always be yes and that is ok.  The point is to make intentional decisions about the history we leave behind- the good and the bad.  It’s important to remember that not all things have to have a happy ending to be meaningful and that a balance of the triumphs and heartbreaks is what real life is all about.  Sorrow can be a great teacher and thankfully, it doesn’t always have to be our own.  I truly believe that our experiences were not given to us to keep to ourselves but to help others learn valuable lessons as well.  One of the greatest gifts in this life is connection to others and our stories are how we get there.