Kindred Grove

 

Get Lost in Family History & Find Yourself

HOME

Tutorials

BLOG

Inspiration

ABOUT

In Remembrance of A WWI Hero

In Remembrance of A WWI Hero

         In honor of Veteran’s Day and the armistice that ended WWI  101 years ago today (on the 11th hour on the 11th day in the 11th month), I’d like to share the story of my own personal war hero- my great- grandfather. 

     On July 16, 1892, in the quaint town of Taylorsville, Mississippi, my great grandfather, William Grover Yelverton, was born. Life was simple for that farm boy with sky blue eyes and a smile that produced two dimples. He was raised in a large family that grew up on love, hard work, and good ole southern food and values. As his granddaughter, I have the honor of affectionately calling him “Daddy Grover”.

     In the summer of 1917, Grover was drafted into “the war to end all wars.” For a young man whom had never been anywhere but home, I can only imagine what he felt at this call. I have a photo of him that was taken at the end of his basic training that to this day sits framed on my piano. The young man I see in that photo was handsome, confident and courageous. I believe he was excited for unseen adventures as he donned a crisp new uniform, haircut and skills.

Since his media exposure consisted solely of the small local newspaper, his expectations of the outside world were most likely created in the chambers of his own imagination. Although I am certain there were fears of the unknown, I believe his bravery stood out front and center. I am so thankful we have a photo of that unseasoned boy because the man that returned home at the end of the war was a different person.

     Upon receiving his draft notice, he was assigned to the 18th (this later became the 39th) Infantry Division, 114th Engineers and sent to Camp Beauregard, LA for training. Sickness and disease ran rampant at Camp Beauregard. They were plagued with outbreaks of measles, meningitis, and Spanish Flu. This led to lobar pneumonia in many patients; overcrowding the already taxed hospital facilities. The soldiers were anxious to get to France because of bug infestations and poor conditions.

     When he finally reached France, Grover’s varied responsibilities included building bridges, roads and railroads for the 1st Army Corps. The roads they constructed through the Argonne forest were especially treacherous because of the mountainous terrain. They had to cut the path through huge timber and rocks and then level the ground. This operation was vital to success in the war so that tanks, vehicles, and equipment could be taken to the front lines. The engineers also built pontoon bridges across the Meuse and Rhine Rivers for crossing.

On one occasion, as the 39th division was in the river constructing a bridge, German tanks and soldiers pulled up to the river bank. American tanks pulled up on the other side and an attack ensued. Grover and the other engineers were caught in the crossfire and had to fight hard and fast to survive. Being the largest and bloodiest battle of WWI, infantry divisions were quickly depleted in the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. Manpower situations became so desperate that all available troops, including those slated as training, depot or engineer divisions; such as the 39th; were deployed to the front lines. That included my great-grandpa. He wasn’t trained as a rifleman, but he bravely fulfilled that role when he was called.

     In the midst of battle, Grover suffered the debilitating effects of mustard gas at the hands of the German army. Although he was initially given a gas mask, he was told during an inspection that it was defective and to throw it away. A new one was supposed to be issued to him but was never delivered. The mustard gas he was exposed to caused permanent damage to his lungs and significant respiratory issues for the rest of his life.

     During the war, homing pigeons were used as a new tactic to transfer messages between military lines. The birds carried letters in small canisters around their necks or legs. When they landed in the coop, a bell would ring and a soldier would remove the message from the canister. The 39th division was responsible for several war pigeons and Grover took great pride in caring for them. He mourned over his birds that were shot by enemy troops and tried his best to keep them safe, clean and comfortable. His love of animals, even in time of war, exemplified his loving heart and protective nature.

     The multifarious efforts from the engineers and their assistance in combat were such an advantage to Allied forces in WWI that Germany began to pull back and ultimately, the war came to an end on November 11, 1918. Five months later, my great-grandpa’s unit, the 114th Engineers, returned home to Newport News, Virginia. By the end of his military career, Grover Yelverton was promoted to the rank of Corporal.

     After Grover returned from the war, he married Wessie Butler, a young school teacher from Mize, Mississippi. Industry was changing the world and it was an exciting time in America. For a time, Grover worked on the railroad, a skill he learned in the war, but the lung damage he sustained combined with the physical requirements put him at a disadvantage. His employers were not sympathetic to his plight and rebuked him at times for not working fast enough. He eventually made the difficult decision to trade in his engineering days for farming.

Farming was a livelihood where he could work at his own pace and was a blessing to his young family during the Great Depression. Farming didn’t fill their pocketbooks, but it did fill their bellies. Grover and Wessie became the parents of nine beautiful children. Around 1938, they bought 40 acres of land and built a home and bigger farm.

     The trauma of war created many other struggles for this good man. Loud or sudden noises would make him jumpy and give him flashbacks. My grandmother (his daughter), remembered a time she was in the field with her dad. The approaching drone of a small twin-engine plane in the distance caused him to jump and run toward the trees for cover. That was twenty years or more after he had been in the war and yet, the trauma still lingered.

     At that time, the term “shell-shocked” was newly coined and highly misunderstood. Originally thought to have been brain damage caused by exploding shells, soldiers and veterans who experienced this were considered emotionally weak, lazy and cowardly. They were often reprimanded, labeled, court-martialed and some were even executed for this condition. Once, while confiding in a counselor at the VA hospital about some of his symptoms, Daddy Grover was denied sympathy but told he was probably “just schizophrenic”. Dejected, he vowed to never return to the VA.

     With such limited resources, many veterans turned to alcohol to self-medicate but thankfully, somehow, my great-grandpa escaped that trap. Instead, he found therapy in nature- gardening and taking long walks in the woods. I wonder what occupied his thoughts on those moments of solitude. I imagine he battled feelings of inadequacy, fear, and anxiety but I also hope that he felt God’s love and grace as he navigated through those storms of life. He found companionship in his beloved mule, Henry, but ultimately, his oldest son, “Brother”, became his best friend and confidant. Daddy Grover was very protective of his children and made it his personal responsibility to keep others out of harm’s way. It is my personal belief that his strong nature to protect and defend was a blessing to many during his war days.

     For the man whose future at one point seemed full of possibility and adventure, those ambitions were ultimately shelved for a simpler life. He gave so much to our freedoms and the price he paid was loss of respect and health. And though he may have been disheartened by his limitations, the time he spent sharing simple joys with his children and grandchildren- like how to pull up a row of peanuts in one fell swoop or how to cut a watermelon like a champ are the moments I wish I could have witnessed with my own eyes.

     After a lifetime of wheezing, pain, and coughing, William Grover Yelverton died in 1965 at the age of 73 from lung cancer due to damage sustained from mustard gas. I never got to know him in this life, but earthly bounds can’t break the connection I feel to him.

     Today marks 101 years since the Armistice was signed that ended WWI and I’d like to pay homage to him and that great event that preserved my great-grandfather’s life, and gave me the opportunity to be born. Although this tribute to Daddy Grover is long overdue, his sacrifice has never expired. The opportunities he dreamed of and fought for may not have been enjoyed in his own life, but were gifted to me instead. I am humbled to have him as my hero.

In honor of Veteran’s Day, I would like to express my gratitude to all who have sacrificed- veterans and their families, friends and communities- that personally paid for our freedom. Thank you!

Look What Love Can Do- A Journey of Adoption, DNA, and Destiny

Look What Love Can Do- A Journey of Adoption, DNA, and Destiny

     My name is Ruby Lovett.  I was born at the Charity Hospital in Laurel, Mississippi one early February morning.  My parents had a little 20 acre farm six miles east of the little town of Laurel, and that’s where I lived until 1990, when I moved to Nashville to become a country music star.  I am an adopted person.  It seems like I always knew that, as my adoptive parents never made any secret of that fact.  My adoptive mother sat me down and told me before I started the first grade, as she said she didn’t want me to find out from any of my fellow classmates.  I asked her once how I took the news, if it seemed to bother me at all.  She said no– that I just went back outside to play.  That was pretty much my attitude my entire life about being adopted.  I think I just saw it as a fact of life. Being adopted at seven days old, I never knew any different. My parents were my parents. I was loved and well cared for. My Mama and Daddy told me what they knew of my birth family…my birth mother’s name and a little about her family. As far as my birth father went, one name always came up as a possibility, other than that- just rumors. 

My adoptive parents were older. Mama was 51 years old when she and Daddy adopted me. I’ve often thought how grateful I am to have been raised by older parents, because I learned a different way of living and doing things than most folks my age. One of the many things I adored about my parents, were their “sayings”. Growing up I loved to whistle…my Mother used to say “A whistling girl and a crowing hen, always comes to a bad end”. I’m sure that was just to stop my whistling, as whistling, she believed, was not a very lady-like habit. My Daddy was a jokester…he loved to pick at me. His nickname for me growing up was either “buddy” or “snake”, depending on the day. One of the things he liked to pick at me about was my freckles…he’d say “You look like you swallowed a dollar and broke out in pennies”. I sometimes would wonder where those freckles came from. One of the things I did feel like I missed out on growing up was seeing people that looked like me- that had my eyes or the same nose, or those freckles. I could always sing as well….I made my public debut singing at the ripe old age of three to a crowd at a gospel music singing convention. Sometimes growing up, I’d wonder where that gift came from too.

Fast forward to my early 30s. I was dating a guy that was also adopted. I made a trip with him once to confront someone he believed was his birth mother. When we arrived at the address, he was too nervous to go to the door, so I went but wrong address. It got me to thinking though….maybe I should want to meet my birth mother…maybe there was something wrong with me that I’d never attempted to go see her….MAYBE doing this would change me somehow and make me a more “whole” person. So, I went. I remember exactly how I felt as I approached her house. As my Daddy used to say, “I was nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs”. For some reason, I went into a laughing fit as I came near her door. Nervous release I guess. The meeting went well, I was able to ask lots of questions and got some answers. One question I asked was who my birth father was. She give me the name I’d always heard growing up. Hmm. Ok then, it must be true.

I never gave anymore real thought to my birth father’s identity until two years ago. I had taken a DNA test through Ancestry.com just to learn what my ethnicity was. Then, however, began to notice that none of my paternal matches pointed toward the man I’d always been told was the one. Then my head caught on fire…..I had to know for sure who he was.  I went to work!  I’ve said often through this journey, that if I’d applied myself to my music like I did this, I’d be a millionaire SUPERSTAR. I won’t bore you with all the details, but let’s just say, I should have been a private investigator. I took stalking to a whole new (non-scary) level. I spoke with funeral home directors, coroners, detectives and a host of strangers that did not know me or know of my existence.   I’m the girl that used to refuse to call and order a pizza, because I did not want to talk to someone I didn’t know.  Ha!

With lots of hard work, the help of friends and newly found cousins (my partners in crime), and one very special “search angel”, I finally discovered my birth father’s identity.  Turns out he died in 1998.  However, all the hard work paid off. I not only have a host of new wonderful cousins (and two rude ones), I now have a brother (half brother, but who’s counting), a sister-in-law, a niece, nephew and two great nephews.  My brother never knew about me, and I certainly never knew of him, but we grew up just one county apart.  It took 50 years, but we finally met for the first time on April 13, 2018.  That was a meeting I’ll never forget. I think we were both scared to death but excited. He gave me a gift that visit. When he got home from that first weekend, he called me and told me to go in the living room and look behind the couch. He had left me one of his guitars. Yes, that’s right, my newly found brother also sings, writes songs and plays guitar. In the genes? May be.

     I have to tell you all that this journey has changed my life. Has it changed me? No, I’m still Ruby. However, I’ve learned something about myself. I CAN do things that make me nervous and uncomfortable. I for sure WILL pick up the phone and order a pizza now, no problem…Ha!  I have a newfound, non self-harming habit…errr… I mean hobby-family history research. Even though the two main players are figured out, there are great-grandparents and great-great grandparents to look for and discover. It’s something I’ll do and enjoy the rest of my life, I hope. My adoptive parents have been gone many years now. I’d like to think that they wouldn’t have minded my looking for my birth family and hope they would have been as fascinated by the process as much as I’ve been. 

Mama & Me

I want to thank everyone who helped me along my way on this journey, and I’d like to encourage others who are adopted and have a desire to know where they came from, to take the test, do the work!

 

You have a right, I believe, to know who you are and where “your people” came from.  It most likely will not change who you are, but it sure might help you learn about yourself, by learning where you came from. 

Back in the ’90s, I recorded a song that I wrote with two friends of mine….one of whom was also adopted. At the time, I had a record deal, and the label funded a video to go along with this song.
It’s called, Look What Love Can Do.
This video is what I’d like to leave you with for National Adoption Month.
I hope you all enjoy.
Love put me in the arms of my adoptive parents and love also brought me to the arms of my biological family. I never imagined all the family members I would meet and get so close to! Look what Love Can do!
Check out My Website for Videos, Events and More. Link Below

How To Connect with your Ancestors

How To Connect with your Ancestors

     Can we really learn more about OURSELVES by studying our ancestors? Many people talk about having a connection with those who have gone before but there are also some who do not believe that privilege is available to everyone and question whether they are entitled to that kind of experience.  I personally and emphatically believe we all can find connections to our ancestors! You just have to know how to access it- or even know how to get started.  

     These tips are in no certain order, (in fact, you can pick and choose from these ideas), but are a few ways to begin to connect to YOUR ancestors.

READ THEIR STORIES

If you are fortunate enough to have written stories and memories of your ancestors, read them! Stories have the power to connect us with others in a way that nothing else can. As you read those stories, try to relate and imagine what they went through. What qualities did your ancestor possess that are admirable to you? What similarities do you find in their stories to your life? Do you notice any personality similarities? Even if their experiences were different than your own, ponder why they told the stories they did. What do you think they wanted their posterity to know? Why were they important to document and share? Take time to appreciate the gift of those stories and memories. They truly are a gift!

FIND, STUDY, & COMPARE THEIR PHOTOS

 This photo comparison above is of my great grandmother on the left and my daughter on the right Aren’t they both so beautiful? I’m so proud! And although my daughter may not be an exact spitting-image of her great-great-grandmother, I definitely see a close resemblance. I absolutely love doing photo comparisons with my family photos. It’s so fun to see how different family members can take after someone so much- even a few generations back.

 Some of you may say, “Well, you are so lucky to have photos of your ancestors because I don’t have any!” If so, guess what? Neither did I when I began this journey.  I literally had NONE!

Through researching my family, I was able to find some online (Mostly on Ancestry.com) and I found many others through asking extended family members- often times, I did not know them beforehand. 

Don’t have any (or many) photos of your ancestors? No problem. Check out my tried-and-true method for finding some!

Click the link below.  

Once you have gathered some photos, take the time to study them. Look at your ancestors’ features and expressions (remember that many old cameras had very slow shutters, and the subjects were told not to smile but sit very still so that the photo wouldn’t be blurry). Observe their clothes, their surroundings, and any other clues you can glean from the picture.

What can you gather about their lives from that photo? Make a list of ideas. As you study their features, what or who do you see? Do you see any similarities to yourself or other family members? Do some side by side comparisons and look for resemblances. Makes notes of your observations so you can combine your ideas with additional research.

When I began to make photo comparisons with my own ancestors’ photos and my living family, I had a fascinating realization. It seems to me when there’s a physical connection; there is often a very spiritual connection to those ancestors too. We inherit more than physical features. Personality, temperament, and talents are also often inherited.

Family history can be a mirror into who we are and why- if you are willing to look! The beautiful thing is that we usually reflect traits from more than one ancestor, although sometimes we may favor one more than another. This gives us the opportunity to investigate many ancestors and find connections with each one of them. Photos are a fun place to explore, but they, alone, will not teach you enough about your ancestors to make a genuine connection. You need details of their life as well.

Research your ancestor's life

To really get to know your ancestors, you need to research their life and gather as many details as you can. Collect the unwritten stories and details from living family members if available.  If that isn’t possible, study their life through their records and historical context.  Here is a simple checklist to get you started:  

    1. Start by creating a timeline of your ancestor’s life from birth to death dates. As you review documents and information, you can fill in the events and places. This will also show you any “gaps” in information and years and help you to know what to look for. 
    2. As mentioned earlier, look for stories on family history sites such as Family Search and Ancestry that other family members have contributed. Benefit from the work of others! 
    3. Use census reports to learn where they were born, where they lived during that census, what their profession was, and who they lived with, etc. Census reports can sometimes give you a lot of information. Make sure the VIEW THE IMAGE as it often has more information than what is given on the index. 
    4. Research the geography and legal history of your family’s location. Understanding these factors can give you a deeper perspective of the circumstances of your family and also help you to understand why they made the choices they did.
    5. Land records can give you specific information and dates to the family homestead and can help you to know when they may have moved from another town/ state/ country to their new land. 
    6. Church records can help confirm vital events like births/ baptisms, marriages, and deaths.
    7. Family records, such as found in family bibles, can give wonderful details into birth, marriage, and death information for family members. This is especially helpful for children who may not have lived long enough to be on a census record. I have found some of these bible records on Ancestry.com.
    8. Newspapers can hold a treasure trove of information- and even photos. You can often find birth, marriage, military, death, and relocation announcements- not to mention this is where you may find some mysteries and scandals!
    9. Document all the children they had and research them as well. By researching the whole family, you will discover a much richer story and find answers to questions than you would if you only research your direct line ancestors. 
    10. Find out if any of their children died young or went off to war, etc.
    11. What difficulties and trials did they overcome?
    12. Look in family books if available. These can be invaluable resources. Click the link below for a tutorial on how to find these books {for FREE} online.  

    After you have compiled all the information you can find on your ancestor, review it and think about their life from a personal stand-point. These were real people with real lives. What did they overcome? What did they work to accomplish? What was their legacy? 

    Get your DNA TESTED!

    And get your family members to test too!

    ‘DNA and genetics are truly remarkable! I continue to be enlightened by this journey of learning of my ancestors through my DNA results. I took a DNA test through Ancestry.com and have loved their features and results! Their genetic bank is the largest in the world (hence more matches), their science is advancing very quickly, and I am learning new things all the time about who I am through my DNA! 

    I never thought I looked like either of my parents very much but now I think I mostly take after two of my great grandparents. As I gathered any known information from living family members about them, I was so amazed to see that my DNA confirmed that I had a very strong genetic connection to those great grandparents. 

    The first one is my great grandmother in the photo posted above with my daughter. Her name was Ellen and I was the only child to inherit her blood type (that skipped two generations before passed down to me). She was my father’s paternal grandmother.  (If you’d like to read more about how my connection to her grew through a very difficult time in my life, you can READ HERE.) 

    I also feel a special connection and kinship to my great-grandfather on my mothers side. I got his close-set eyes (my mom did not! She got her dad’s Irish eyes ). I’ve learned through stories about him that I also got his over-protectiveness. I am not very outspoken but if someone I love is being threatened, all inhibitions go out the window. I can defend others much better than I can defend myself! Go figure. Ha! I was amazed upon doing our DNA tests to learn that I matched his side of the family higher than my sisters did. So, was my spirit connected and drawn to him as well? I believe it was. 

    Quick DNA Match Lesson

    You can learn more about your DNA by comparing your amount of cM’s that you share with  cousin matches in your DNA results.

    Centimorgans (cM) are the units of measurable repetitive pieces of DNA that you share with family that are used to determine relationships.

    If you you share more cM’s with cousins on your grandmother’s side than your grandfather’s side, then you can start to determine that you may take after your grandmother’s side more. You’ll need to compare as many cousins as possible to get more accurate conclusions. This process will be exponentially enhanced when you have siblings also take a DNA test and they share their results with you!   Viewing their results or asking them to compare their # of cM with different family lines can show you which of you match cousins higher and having their results to compare with can show you if you are higher or lower with certain family members.

    For example, if my sister and I both look at our cousin match, Joseph Brown, and she shares 328 cM’s and I have 435 cM’s, then there’s the likelihood that I have more Brown DNA.

    Cousin Matches on ancestry

     This picture above is an example of cousin matches on Ancestry. The best cousin matches are the ones with a tree (see circled tree symbol with # of people in tree under name and description). If there is a green leaf beside their tree, that means you both have the same person(s) in your family trees on Ancestry and you can click on that leaf to see your connection to them. That feature will help you to figure out your relation. Also circled is the amount to cM’s shared under the name.

    Make notes of each family line that you are connected strongly to -emotionally or genetically- and any details that described the family.  What were their lives like? What were their livelihoods, talents, traditions, religion, etc.  How do you feel about each of those lifestyles? Have you shared any similar life experiences? 

    Also, make a list of WHO YOU ARE to the core.  What are your talents, fears, beliefs, etc.  Start making comparisons to see if you think any of those things could be inherited. How are you similar or different from your immediate family members? If everyone was a product of their environment, then all siblings would turn out the same.  Right? (Or, for the most part.)

    But they don’t. There is much more to us than just environmental influences and genetics play a big role in who we are. 

    This may sound like a tedious process, but actually, it is so FUN!  You will find that discovering connections typically won’t be difficult or forced at all.  As you learn about your ancestors or look at that photo, you will feel something inside of you. It will come naturally. Sometimes you will connect over a similarity or common trait or talent.  But most often, you will connect over love. As you discover what your ancestor’s life was like, even if you can’t relate, you will have an admiration for them and love them for their strength, faith, and endurance.  That connection will continue to grow and you will feel that they are part of you and you are part of them. 

    And really, weren’t they all along? I certainly believe so! I just think we may not have taken the time to notice.  Learning about my ancestors has been one of the greatest things I have ever done.  It’s hard to explain the power and love that accompanies this journey- much like it is hard to explain a parent’s love for a child.  But it is natural and incredibly strong and can come on so suddenly.  If you haven’t had that experience yet, don’t give up. Keep learning and searching and one day, I know you will have an opportunity to love and connect with your ancestors. 

    Have you had any experiences connecting with your ancestors? I’d love to hear about it. Comment below! 

    The Secret to Strong & Happy Families

    The Secret to Strong & Happy Families

    The Challenge of Our Day

    One of the biggest struggles families face today is learning how to navigate through the challenges and unknowns of smartphones and social media. The research is starting to roll in about the toll it can take on mental and emotional health.   

    As a parent myself, I worry about the obstacles my children face in a world that is different than the one I grew up in. We have not been trained by our own parents on how to raise a family in this environment. We are the first generation to tread this path and we are learning as we go. However, the thought of our children being guinea pigs isn’t very comforting. I do not believe that technology is bad. There are many wonderful benefits to having these tools and resources! But, I believe most parents want to know how to keep their families balanced and strong. 

     

    A HOPEFUL STUDY

    I was intrigued when I came across an article in The New York Times Magazine entitled “The Stories that Bind Us”, that offered some amazing insight on helping families in today’s world. It has become one of my favorites. The author asked the questions, “What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?”  (Bruce Feiler, 2013) 

    Fortunately for us, Feiler spent a few YEARS researching this question! I am only highlighting the conclusion of his studies, so I highly recommend you use the link below to read the entire article. It is very insightful!

    Feiler says, “The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.”

    What Family Stories Should Be Passed Down?

    What Family Stories Should Be Passed Down?

    I believe all families have some sort of family lore, tragedies, and heartbreak that we question whether or not we should pass down to younger generations.  It can seem wrong to burden a child with the sad circumstances of the past.  This question has come to my mind over several topics.  But there is one that stands out in particular because of the reaction I get when I share it with others. 

    When I was a child, my mother, grandmother and older siblings sang me an old folktale song called Babes in the Woods. It’s a tragic lullaby that tells the story of two children who were lost in the woods and ultimately die.  The last lines of the song have always been poignant to me- “Now don’t you remember poor babes in the Woods?”

    As an adult, I have shared this song with my children and many others. People who have not grown up with this song think it is morbidly horrific and possibly borders on child abuse to sing it to a sleepy child. Haha.

    I do understand why others feel this way yet I can’t leave this song in my past. I just can’t walk away from it. Perhaps it feels as if the poor babes in the woods are being left alone all over again- this time by me. 

    I would like to share with you why this tragic little folk song means so much to me and how that relates to other life experiences. I hope you may relate as well.

    1) Tradition– Babes in the Woods has been passed down in my family for generations. It was written in 1601 in England by Robert Yarrington, but I’m not sure how or when my family inherited the song. I do know my great grandparents sang it to my grandmother and her siblings shortly after WWI. Although I don’t know where they learned the song, I imagine it was sung to one of them by their parents. Passing down this song is passing down part of my history. The lyrics may be about two lost children but the tune and nostalgia that are sung tell a different story- a story of my family rocking in a chair, snuggled on a bed or pallet (if you are from the south you know what a pallet is!) and most importantly, being sung to by my mother and grandmother. The words may have been sad but there was safety in our connection and in the familiarity.

    2) Inheritance– This is similar to tradition, but I believe deserves its own category. Growing up, I was just a poor, little Mississippi girl. We didn’t own fancy things or go on expensive vacations. However, I was raised on manners and kindness, good southern cookin’, and playing outside barefoot on hot summer days.  We caught crawfish, lizards and locusts.  We watched the Price is Right like it was part of our religion.  I remember falling asleep on my grandmother’s bed to the voice of Johnny Carson.  There was all the love, kindness, hardship, worries, stories and music a young girl could squeeze in to a budding life. I can’t give my own children the same childhood I had because times have changed so much and I also don’t live in my beloved home state anymore. I only have a few simple heirlooms that belonged to my grandparents. 

    What I can hand down to my children are the stories and music that are written in my soul and part of my heritage.  But it’s up to me to recognize the treasure that they are and pass them down for that reason. It’s important for me to teach my children why these are some of the greatest gifts that can be handed down. If I don’t, the memories and songs could easily be forgotten instead of becoming the legacy they are meant to be. This is my inheritance and my responsibility.  Not all of the memories are sad or tragic, but a few are- and they belong too.

    3) Nostalgia– Who doesn’t love the feeling of nostalgia- that feeling that takes you back to another time and place and often times with people who are no longer with us anymore?  If we can preserve memories, then we can tap into nostalgic feelings and remember and appreciate those blessed times of the past. Nostalgia is a little bit magical in my opinion. 

    4) Resilience– We all have stories in our past or in our family’s past that are sad or uncomfortable. Often times, we leave them there because we want to forget. There are times where that may be best, appropriate and certainly understandable. But are we doing this too often? I believe the sad things that our family members went through and survived shows resilience! When I look back on the trials my grandparents and great grandparents went through- such as the Great Depression, the World Wars, and losing children, I feel a reverence and respect for them. I am in awe at their strength. When I in turn am going through a trial of my own, I think of them and how they survived much harder things.  It makes me realize that I come from strong stock. Their genes and blood run through me. I know if they could make it through what they did, then I can make it through my own trials too. Babes in the Woods is symbolic of the sad things that happen in this life.  My great grandmother believed it was important that children weren’t completely shielded from sad news and experiences.  She wanted us to have compassion, grit and resilience. It’s funny though, because even though she sometimes taught us the hard truth, all I remember about her is love.  

    5) Understanding Feelings– Babes in the Woods is a reminder to me that not all stories have a happy ending. There are sad times in life. And while sad feelings are uncomfortable, they are part of life for all of us. Acknowledging sad feelings doesn’t give them more power. By understanding why we are sometimes sad, we are the ones who gain power and ultimately move on to joy. We can’t escape sadness so if we choose to give it a little bit of space, it won’t have to compete with the other elements and feelings of our life. Recognizing trials and tragedy as part of a beautiful life is profound. We shouldn’t feel shame about handing down a few sad stories that are written in our history. This is how we teach our children and grandchildren that it is okay to sometimes be sad. Feelings are temporary.  Our grandparents understood this.  It is why so many of them have said to us,  “This too shall pass.” 

    6) Remembrance– Perhaps it is easier to let go of something that happened long ago but if there is a loss of a loved one, shouldn’t they be remembered? Who will tell their story if not us? Babes in the Woods is symbolic to me of those who have left this life, yet are still part of us and deserve to be remembered.  It makes me sad to think of how easily we can let some things go. We may find the words of this song sad, but what about the issue? Do we find it sad or even recognizable that we have lost some of our own?  I believe it is a form of respect to acknowledge our own babes in the woods-whether child or adult.

     I also believe this song is symbolic of how people taught their children.  They didn’t want their kids to get lost playing in the woods and they would sing them songs like this as a lesson.  I think that’s a neat part of our history- being taught by lore and song. You won’t find it dying out with me. 

    I’d like to share with you the words of Babes of the Woods.  There are a few variations and I believe our version changed a little over time- as with the tune as well. This is the version sung to me from my Smith County, Mississippi folks. 

           My dears do you know? 

    That a long time ago

    Two poor little children

    Their names I don’t know 

    Were stolen away 

    On a bright summer’s day 

    And were left in the woods

    I’ve heard people say 

    Now when it was night

    So sad was their plight

    The Sun Went Down

    And the Moon Gave no light

    They sobbed and they sighed

    But little they cried

    Then the poor little children 

    Just laid down and died

    And when they were dead

    The robins so red

    brought pretty green leaves

    And over them spread

    And all the night long

    They sang them a song

    Poor Babes in the Woods

    Poor Babes in the Woods

    Now Don’t You Remember Poor babes in the woods? 

    So, the next time you think about a story or even a tragedy from your family history, I would recommend that you sit with it a while and dissect why that story was important enough to be handed to you and if it could serve a purpose today with the younger generations.  I suggest you try to look beyond the surface feelings and dive deeper into the lessons and meanings behind it.  Is there something to be gained? The answer won’t always be yes and that is ok.  The point is to make intentional decisions about the history we leave behind- the good and the bad.  It’s important to remember that not all things have to have a happy ending to be meaningful and that a balance of the triumphs and heartbreaks is what real life is all about.  Sorrow can be a great teacher and thankfully, it doesn’t always have to be our own.  I truly believe that our experiences were not given to us to keep to ourselves but to help others learn valuable lessons as well.  One of the greatest gifts in this life is connection to others and our stories are how we get there. 

    A Time and a Place for Family History

    A Time and a Place for Family History

     

    I always knew that I would do family history someday.  I took pride in my heritage and loved my family, but I figured there was a time and a season to everything and this season was for raising my children.  Although that too was true, I also didn’t realize how much family history could benefit my life now until the experience found and changed me.  

    Three years ago today, I had what could only be described as a spiritual experience challenge me to learn about my great grandfather. I knew that he was a WWI veteran who had suffered the effects of mustard gas, but I really didn’t know much else. The nagging sense of responsibility I suddenly felt to learn more about him would help me through some very difficult challenges in my own life as I cared for a chronically sick child, and also would change my life forever. What started out as something simple, became an awakening in my soul. I found an instant love of family history. 

    Along this path, I have formed friends with like-minded people. I have found cousins and ultimately, I found myself. It may sound strange, but I have never felt so much like myself as I have since I started doing family history. It has become a passion and calling for me.

     For a while now, I have felt the need to start my own website where I can help others. That nagging feeling of responsibility is back and I am embarking into another chapter of this journey. My hope is that any of you who would like to know more about family history may glean some inspiration and help from this site. It may only be in its infancy stage, but there is love and meaning behind every part so far- including the name. The name is Kindred Grove, which was inspired by the man who started it all for me- Grover Yelverton. So, to my great grandpa, and to all of you who have forged this path with me over these last few years- this is for you and I thank you!

    Pin It on Pinterest