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What Happens To Family History In Three Generations?

What Happens To Family History In Three Generations?

The shocking truth

Did you know this- that it only takes three generations to lose a piece of oral family history? And what does that mean exactly? It means that the stories of the sacrifices, triumphs, and heartbreaks that happen(ed) in our families will be lost forever within three generations. Each story is a piece. To break it down even further, it means your grandchildren will know very little about your parents and little to nothing about your grandparents. Unless actions to avoid this problem are taken, the result is significant family history loss. 

Can this be proven??

Hard to believe? I recommend asking yourself these questions:
Do you know details about your parents’ lives? Most likely, yes, right?
How about your grandparents? Yes? (Hopefully!)
Do you know some details about your great-grandparents? Probably some things, at least?
Now, what about your great-great-grandparents? How much do you know about them? I don’t mean where they lived or what they did for a living- things you can learn from a census record. I am talking about their stories, hardships, talents, passions, and feelings. How well do you know those things?
How much does your knowledge drop off between those two generations? Is it significant???
I feel the pains of irreparable family history loss.  Do you? Or…are you the exception?

You see, SOME FAMILIES DON’T HAVE THE SAME LOSS OF FAMILY HISTORY that others do! Maybe yours is one of those- the LUCKY ONES!!! And what is it that makes the difference?
The answer is pretty simple, and it ALWAYS comes down to the same thing- WRITTEN HISTORY. 📜
Someone wrote down those stories, memories, and details of your ancestors’ lives. Right? And because of the written memories, the oral history can continue to live on for many generations.

Preventative Action You Can Take Against Family History Loss

The lesson here is- We HAVE TO WRITE DOWN OUR FAMILY STORIES! 📝
You have three generations of stories in you. Our elders have three generations of stories inside of them- many of which you do not have. Can you help capture it? What if there aren’t older generations to ask? That’s okay.
Start with what you know. Your memories alone can preserve three generations of family history. 
You don’t have to know everything for the memories to matter. Gather what you can, whether it is one tiny detail or many. They all make a difference. 


Now, how many generations can you gather? Have you found any successful ways to preserve your family history? Please share in the comments! 

The Healing Power Our Ancestors Can Offer During Difficult TrIals

The Healing Power Our Ancestors Can Offer During Difficult TrIals

A Quick Message About finding connections to your ancestors

At the end of this post, I offer my best advice to help YOU connect to your ancestors. Make sure you check it out. I hope it brings you the joy it has for me! 🙂

My Story

They say you can never understand a mother’s love until you have a child of your own. I thought I understood this statement when I became a mother for the first time. My feelings of instant love and protection for my child were more overwhelming than I could have imagined. It gave me a newfound appreciation for my mother. I never thought that one day I would have an experience that would provide those words with new meaning and show me how connecting to my ancestors would help me fully understand and access the endless bounds of a mother’s love.

THE STORM

A few years ago, I was a busy wife and mom, raising five children. Our days were pretty typical and never easy, but our family was happy. Everything changed when my oldest son, at 15 years old, fell suddenly ill. What began as a terrible rash on his arms and legs soon led to many other health problems, including that he developed allergies to almost every food type. The symptoms of this mysterious illness increased until it stripped away all of my son’s normal activities. It seemed so unfair for a teenage boy who had such a zest for life.

For months we sought answers. My days became a ritual of taking my son to doctors appointments for IV’s and tests, trying to find food he could eat, and reading and researching anything and everything I could get my hands in the hopes that I could find a solution as to what could heal him.

Every night before he went to bed, I applied ointment and gauze all over his raw skin until he looked like a burn victim. He would sometimes wince in pain as I wrapped him, but he rarely complained. I also tried to treat this illness’s emotional wounds by speaking to him with all of the positivity I could muster. I wanted him to fall asleep to the tune of hope and encouragement so his body would heal.

My son’s illness took a toll on our whole family, and I was no exception. There were so many needs to be met. I worked through the day and night, trying to take care of everyone. Not only was my oldest son sick, but I had a nursing baby to take care of and another son with autism- not to mention two other children who had typical children’s needs as well. I tried to be carry it all, but in reality, I was drained and overwhelmed.

The dream, A message, and a Beginning

About a year into this trial, my great-grandpa, whom I never knew in this life, came to me in a dream. He told me that he loved us and knew what it was like to be sick (he suffered the effects of mustard gas from WWI) and he said he was watching over my son. Something he said also nudged me to dig deeper for answers. I felt humbled, comforted, and blessed by that experience.

After that, in the middle of those sleepless nights of waiting, worry, and prayer, I became increasingly curious about my family history. I started researching to take my mind off the stress. It was thrilling to make discoveries about those who came before me. Of course, it began with a hunger to know more about my great-grandpa, my guardian angel, but that led me to want even more! The more I learned about him, the more I also wanted to know my other ancestors too. He sparked a flame in me. Little did I know the role this experience would play in my life when my son finally received a diagnosis.

ANSWERS And More Heartbreak

I’ll never forget the moment when the doctor sat down, looked at me in the eyes and gave me the answer that only raised more questions when she said, “Late-stage Lyme disease.” Then she proceeded by saying, “Lyme disease affects every patient differently, but, unfortunately, it is attacking your son’s digestive system. It is a complicated disease. If he can’t eat, I don’t know how he can fight it.”

She paused to catch her breath, which felt like she robbed straight from my chest. Her next words were reluctant but deliberate. “Do you understand what I am saying?” she asked. I just stared at her, trying to process. I was unable to blink or speak. I tried to nod, but I didn’t know if it was detectable. Tears welled up in my eyes as I fought to will them away. I had naively assumed that getting a diagnosis would put us on a path to recovery, not more pain. At that moment, I was so afraid and crushed.

The days that followed were a blur as we moved towards the next step. I tried to hold everything together while my family’s happiness hung in the balance. Those days were long and hard, and by nighttime, I needed something powerful and personal to lift me. What had begun as a mere curiosity about my family history, now became a lifeline for me. I looked forward to sitting down each night and connecting to my ancestors as I learned about them. A tangible strength built inside of me.  My son wasn’t the only one who needed healing. I did too- although it was in a different way. I felt this healing begin to take place in my life each time I worked on my family history.

A year into treatments

There were so many doctors appointments but we wanted to do everything we could to help our son.

Out of respect...

for my son’s privacy, I’ve promised him I wouldn’t post any pictures of when his health and skin was at its worst. 

Connecting to My Ancestors

I quickly developed a deep connection to the grandmothers in my line as I learned about their lives. They taught me how to carry on in the face of adversity. Their trials, traditions, and triumphs taught me the nature of these amazing women. They helped me to see that there is strength in motherhood.


My great-grandmother, Ellen, touched my heart. She was a beautiful young woman who went through unimaginable heartache with four of her babies’ deaths. A century after her loss, I mourned with her. Never had her story been so meaningful to me. But, the most profound realization I had was that sorrow did not define her life. Grandma Ellen found enough joy and purpose to fill more than a hundred years on this earth.


Another great-great-grandmother, Molly Butler, became a widow with five young children when she was only twenty-five years old. Even though she had the deck stacked against her, she picked up the pieces and went to work. She started a business and also had a car, to the dismay of everyone in town. It was uncommon for a woman to drive at the turn of the century. People would shake their heads as she drove by and say, “There goes that ole Butler woman.” My Grandma Molly B. makes me laugh. I like to think she was a shock-and-awe kind of gal. I love her spunk and that she didn’t give in to tragedy or other people’s opinions.

 My Great Grandmother Ellen

<<<<<<<<<<<

 My Great- Great Grandmother, Molly B >>>>>>>>>>>>>

 

 

One by one, I connected to a web of women who, although different, showed extraordinary resilience in the face of adversity. I wondered if I bestowed any of that strength. I studied their faces in old photos and sometimes could see myself. They were part of me. I realized that their genes I carried didn’t only appear in my features but in my heart and spirit too. Learning about my many mothers helped me understand that I was part of something greater than I had ever known, and I gained more confidence in my abilities and looked at motherhood in a whole new way.


The stories and experiences of my grandmothers and grandfathers enriched my life. They were my shining examples. But the real miracle happened on challenging days when I couldn’t summon any strength. In those moments, when I had nothing left to give, I felt their presence. It felt like my grandfathers were offering protection, and my grandmothers were bestowing their guidance and fortitude upon me.


Just as I had encouraged my son many nights when the difficulties seemed too hard to bear, I knew my mothers were doing the same for me. Their spirits whispered to me that everything would be okay. My burdens lifted when I couldn’t carry them alone. It was not an imaginary force because I had no energy for such things. I had angels with me, and I knew who they were.

This collage is of me with photos of my mother, grandmothers, 4 great-grandmothers, 4 of my 2x great- grandmothers, and one 3x great-grandmothers.                 

Visiting some of my grandmothers and the places they lived, walked, and were laid to rest in Mississippi.

Today

A few things have changed since this journey began. My son has made an incredible recovery and is doing very well today. He has even been able to serve a church mission that has brought us so much joy as he has served. My sweet boy is another one of my greatest exemplars of resilience. Not a single day goes by that I am not grateful for these miracles.

Understanding a Mother’s Love

With time, other trials have come and gone, as they tend to do. Although I don’t always welcome new challenges, I take comfort knowing that I can always call on my angels for support. And I do! Anytime I am struggling now, I ask my Heavenly Father to please “Send the Angels!” I know he does. The boundless love of family, past and present, is a reminder that life is so good.

I thought I understood a mother’s love when I held my child for the first time. But now I know that something so powerful could never have been born in an instant. That bond was not only between my child and me but was a continuation of the love passed down for generations. 

I’ve never felt so much like myself since learning about my mothers, who came before me. I continue to sense their spirits guiding and protecting my life and those of my family. As I move forward, I continue to humbly carry my ancestors’ stories in my heart and hope that I am maintaining a legacy they are proud of. 

What I really want you to know more than anything

This journey has changed the course of my life for the better and added a depth to my perspective that I couldn’t have gained any other way. The blessings I have experienced are real and tangible. Although my story may sound like a rare experience, I want to make one thing clear. I’m not entitled to these blessings and experiences  more than anyone else. We are all entitled to them because of the eternal nature of God and our families. My hope is that by reading my story that you will know that these opportunities and connections are available to you too. Of course, it will be personal to your circumstances, but that’s one of the things I love most about family history. Each journey is special and unique. 

 If you are in need of help like I was, for any reason, work on your family history. Pray for guidance and a witness. As you do so, I believe you will have uniquely catered experiences to you and your needs, and I promise you will find strength, healing, and blessings along the way. Have faith that it is available to you, and it will come! Be patient and trust that it will happen for you, too! 

My Family <3

Sharing what I’ve learned

Now it's Your Turn!

Would you like to feel more connected to your ancestors? Click on the photo -> for tips on how to begin creating these experiences for yourself. 

Thank you for taking the time to read my story. Article was originally posted on–>>>

LOVE WHAT MATTERS. 

The Powerful Truth about Family History Miracles

The Powerful Truth about Family History Miracles

Family History will bring miracles to your life and to the lives of those you love.

 – Wendy Watson Nelson

This quote resonates with me in a big way because I have lived it. I have experienced family history miracles many times in the last few years. 

It wasn’t why I started doing family history however, it is one of the reasons I continue. When I heard those words for the first time, tears filled my eyes because I knew without a doubt that not only were family history miracles real, but I had been fortunate enough, through a series of blessings, to experience them.  

When you have something that brings you joy and gives new meaning to life, you want to share it with those around you. I’ve heard people question the authenticity of whether this is true. So, I feel it is my desire and duty to open up about some of the miracles and tender mercies I have experienced and let you know that you can also witness family history miracles in your life. 

WHY FAMILY HISTORY MIRACLES MEAN SO MUCH TO ME

Faith has always been a driving force in my life. But I have also had many times when I have prayed and pleaded for blessings, which after waiting for what seemed too long, wondered if those blessings would ever come. I’ve questioned whether God heard my prayers… If I mattered. I’ve had many thinking errors (and still do) because life is hard! And it’s even harder when you ask for much-needed blessings for the right reasons, and those blessings seem slow to arrive. Experiencing family history miracles has helped me so much to push those negative thoughts away. They have helped me realize that God is aware of me and that my life is meaningful. Instead of guessing myself, I find that I feel more purpose and direction. That is why I want to share my story- in hopes that it will give you that hope as well. 

AN OPPORTUNITY

After about a year after I began researching my family history, I got the opportunity to go home to Mississippi. It had been more than ten years since I had been back. I had been busy (and often broke) from having and raising my babies in Utah. Needless to say, I was so excited about this trip because, for the first time, I realized it wasn’t only my home. It was the home to many of my ancestors, too- and I couldn’t wait to see what I could discover.

My dad invited me not only to stay at his house but to come and find all the old family pictures. However, he warned me that they were all over the house- tucked in drawers, closets, and even in the attic. He wasn’t sure what was there or the condition they were in, but they were mine for the taking. I was giddy with excitement and definitely up for the challenge. You see, when I started, I had precisely ZERO photos of my ancestors. I got a few copies from family members and found a handful online, but most of my tree was still bare and I couldn’t wait to dig in.

GOING HOME

I’ll never forget the day I got to Mississippi. I rode with my dad to his house as he drove down those pitch black, winding, pine-lined roads. After miles and miles of the country, we finally pulled up in the gravel driveway to my dad’s house. Somehow the driveway was shorter than it used to be, and the house was closer to the road (but not really).
Oh, how age can affect the size of your memories.

I got out of the truck and looked at the house. It was home to me, although I never lived there. However, it was the most permanent home in my youth. I moved every year of my life growing up. We didn’t have much after my parents divorced, and my mom went back to school. So, we’d live in one dumpy house until the lease ran out, and then we’d move on to the next dumpy house.

Oh, but this one was different. It was a dream- not because it was extravagant or fancy in any way, but because it held a million or two memories- some of which were my own.

MEMORY LANE

I stood there looking at the home my great-grandpa built with his own two hands 100 years earlier. He and my great-grandmother raised their family in that house. It was where my grandmother grew up, where her dates picked her up and dropped her off, where she dreamed and planned her life in her young mind and heart. She learned to sew in that house and where her mother made the most amazing quilts and chocolate chess pies. There were acres of farmland where my great-grandpa grew the best-voted tomatoes in the whole state of Mississippi and every other vegetable too.

 

My grandmother learned to fish at the pond behind the house. Eventually, my dad followed suit. Years later, I did too. I was so proud of the fact that somehow I ALWAYS caught the first fish. 🙂

Looking at the porch, I remembered when my great-grandpa taught me how to make newspaper sailboats to race down the driveway during one torrential downpour. He was the only grandpa I ever knew in this life, and the few memories I have of him and playing out in the country are precious to me.

NOSTALGIA

My dad unlocked the door, and I walked inside. I slowly and deliberately breathed in the nostalgia. It smelled exactly the way it always did- a scent I had forgotten until I experienced it again. I didn’t realize that I still had that memory, but it came back in full force. If only I could have bottled up some to take home with me. I walked through the house, savoring every detail and memory.

Later that night, I started looking for photos- checking every nook and cranny. I took my loot to the dining table and began sorting. It was so much fun going through all the memories from across the years. I compiled a small stack of old photos- which I only hoped would grow as I went through everything.

A couple of days later, my dad and husband helped me tackle the attic. We grabbed all of the boxes that possibly had photos in them and took them down. It was a big job, but I didn’t want to waste a single minute of this opportunity. Without any idea of what else was in store, I planned to accomplish many things during my trip. My husband and I explored cemeteries, local genealogy libraries, etc. during my days there, and spent my evenings going through the boxes.

THE MESSAGE

Two days before I left, I was doing my best to be productive with my limited time there and still had so much to do. I picked up one big box and began looking through it. It appeared to be just old bank statements and bills, but since most of the photos I found had been in boxes that were a mix of pictures and old papers, I wanted to check and make sure. However, I decided not to take everything out of the box as I had done with others for time’s sake. There were stacks and stacks of envelopes, but all I saw underneath were more papers. 

Only wanting the good stuff , I had no desire or time to organize garbage, so I decided that this box was not worth my time. I carried it to the dining room corner and set it on the stack of the other boxes that needed tossing. 

 As soon as my hands lifted from that box, I felt a sudden and intense panic feeling. It was as if someone screamed at me, “Nooooooo!” I stood there stunned, trying to process my sudden anxiousness. Taking a deep breath, I tried to abate the tightness in my chest but it wouldn’t release. Finally, I sighed and gave an audible, “OK!!!” 

I got the message. 

FRUSTRATION

The dreadful box went back to the table and I began taking out every envelope and paper stuffed in there. It wasn’t a small feat because it was packed full. But this time, I carefully inspected each piece to make sure I didn’t overlook something.

About 20 minutes later, I was about 75% through the box. There had been NOTHING of worth so far, and I began to feel frustrated and angry with myself for being paranoid. I had wasted almost a half an hour of precious time. Kicking myself, I figured I had made it this far- I might as well finish the box. I was even more frustrated and shook my head when I finally got to the last paper in the box, which didn’t look any more promising than the hundreds of other worthless documents before it. Reaching in, I lifted it out of the box, feeling flustered.
And that’s when I saw it underneath the very last envelope. 

At first glance, it looked like a 2X3 note with handwriting on it. But wait.
Was it a photo??? I reached inside and lifted the frail little piece of paper.
The inscription said, “Dreamers and first load of lumber for the house” with the date 1918 in the corner.

DREAMERS

My heart started pounding. I turned it over slowly, afraid of my own excitement. But when I did, I discovered that it was a photo. I couldn’t believe what I was saw- a cute young couple set in sepia, resting on a pile of lumber. The young man’s head was turned slightly and he had a far off look on his face. It was as if he was dreaming of the future he wanted to build for his young family. The girl cradled her belly. You see, a house wasn’t her only dream. She had a far greater dream just beneath her heart- a baby girl.

They were my great-grandparents. The expectant baby was my grandmother- showing up in her first photo ever. And the lumber became the very walls that surrounded me at that very moment- my family’s homestead. 

LOST AND FOUND

Reeling, I took a picture with my phone, including the inscription on the back and texted it to my aunt. She’s the one I turn to when I have questions about my grandparents and the rest of the family. I asked if she had a copy of it. I expected her to say yes since she had inherited most of her mother’s memorabilia. 

Her answer brought tears to my eyes when she said, “I have never seen that photo in my life. What an incredible piece of history you have found!” She didn’t know that I almost didn’t. How easily that photo, a capture of that formidable moment in my family’s history, was almost lost forever. 

I got angry over the warning not to walk away from the box because I didn’t understand or trust it. Thankfully, someone insisted and helped me see it through anyway. I genuinely believe that someone was there to help me with that significant family discovery. That photo is the one I treasure most from my trip. My experience may not seem to be a miracle to others, but it is to me.

You see, I’ve learned a few other lessons from that experience. That picture was lost and buried- mixed up with material that was not of its worth. It sat there, forgotten, and forsaken. 

Or was it? 

ALL ALONG

You see, God never forgot about that picture. He knew where it was the whole time. He devised a plan, putting everything in motion, to help me recover it. 

Some might scoff at this and think, “Why would God care about one little photo? It’s such an inconsequential thing.” But that’s what I believe is the message behind the miracle.

Because he did know, he did care. 

And if he cared enough about one family photo, how much must he care about you and me? About our lives? Our destinies? 

So yes, there will be times when we feel lost, buried, trashed, unappreciated, forgotten, forsaken, and even unknown. And while those feelings are genuine and powerful, that doesn’t make them accurate. He knows what we need and how to get there. He won’t forsake us. 

I have learned some very tender lessons through discovering my ancestors- including understand myself and my purpose better. I have found much-needed strength at times that I know hasn’t been my own. Their stories have become part of my story. It’s one of the most precious experiences I’ve had in life.

SEEING THE MIRACLES

After discovering this photo, my aunt sent me a copy of this other one on the right that she did have. Finding the one in the box, however, told the story of the second one- as you can see the lumber in the background of that one. What a blessing it is to know the story behind this sweet day for my great-grandparents. 

I believe that family history is a scope for seeing miracles in our lives and aligning our spirits with heaven and angels. Every time that I experience tender mercies like this, it reminds me that our Heavenly Father is in control. Even if I can’t see all the ways He is working in my behalf when I am going through a challenge, I can still trust that He is. I just have to push through and keep going. I’ll see the silver lining eventually. 

I don’t believe I am more entitled to extraordinary experiences than anyone else. If it can happen to me, and it has many times, it can happen for you. It won’t necessarily happen immediately, but the miracles will come. 

Most likely, these experiences won’t give you perfect faith or all the answers to life’s difficult trials, but they will help to strengthen your hope and help you to know you are not alone.

GRATITUDE & FAMILY HISTORY MIRACLES

That trip to my great-grandparent’s home will probably be the last one ever. My dad sold the house last year so he could move closer to family in his aging years. That was definitely for the best, but the day the home sold, my heart broke. Thankfully, I will always have those precious memories from my childhood- of the family gathered together, riding the 4-wheeler through the woods, walking under the majestic trees, the pecans, the pond, and fish catching locusts and frogs. I will miss how my dad would call me every spring and tell me that my magnolia tree was blooming. Those sacred memories are a part of me forever. 

I am so grateful that I got that last chance three years ago to be there- to walk that sacred ground, touch those walls again, play a role in preserving my family’s history there, and learn that angels and miracles do exist. 

So yes, I believe in family history miracles. And the joy follows is pretty incredible. 

FAMILY HISTORY MIRACLES ARE IN STORE FOR YOU TOO

If you want to witness this for yourself, then work on your family history. Just start. Make those connections to your family, heaven, and the life you are meant to have. And guess what? Your experiences will be more miraculous because they will be personal, applicable, and uniquely catered to you and your needs. Isn’t that amazing? This truth will weave itself into your heart far better than anything I could ever say by your own experiences. In short, they will be your family history miracles. I only hope that my words give you the curiosity to seek them out for yourself.

Painting of the house by my aunt, Gayle Reaves.

If you are like me and starting out with very little photos of your ancestors, make sure to read the following post where I share my tried-and-true tips to acquiring your own!

In Remembrance of A WWI Hero

In Remembrance of A WWI Hero

         In honor of Veteran’s Day and the armistice that ended WWI  101 years ago today (on the 11th hour on the 11th day in the 11th month), I’d like to share the story of my own personal war hero- my great- grandfather. 

     On July 16, 1892, in the quaint town of Taylorsville, Mississippi, my great grandfather, William Grover Yelverton, was born. Life was simple for that farm boy with sky blue eyes and a smile that produced two dimples. He was raised in a large family that grew up on love, hard work, and good ole southern food and values. As his granddaughter, I have the honor of affectionately calling him “Daddy Grover”.

     In the summer of 1917, Grover was drafted into “the war to end all wars.” For a young man whom had never been anywhere but home, I can only imagine what he felt at this call. I have a photo of him that was taken at the end of his basic training that to this day sits framed on my piano. The young man I see in that photo was handsome, confident and courageous. I believe he was excited for unseen adventures as he donned a crisp new uniform, haircut and skills.

Since his media exposure consisted solely of the small local newspaper, his expectations of the outside world were most likely created in the chambers of his own imagination. Although I am certain there were fears of the unknown, I believe his bravery stood out front and center. I am so thankful we have a photo of that unseasoned boy because the man that returned home at the end of the war was a different person.

     Upon receiving his draft notice, he was assigned to the 18th (this later became the 39th) Infantry Division, 114th Engineers and sent to Camp Beauregard, LA for training. Sickness and disease ran rampant at Camp Beauregard. They were plagued with outbreaks of measles, meningitis, and Spanish Flu. This led to lobar pneumonia in many patients; overcrowding the already taxed hospital facilities. The soldiers were anxious to get to France because of bug infestations and poor conditions.

     When he finally reached France, Grover’s varied responsibilities included building bridges, roads and railroads for the 1st Army Corps. The roads they constructed through the Argonne forest were especially treacherous because of the mountainous terrain. They had to cut the path through huge timber and rocks and then level the ground. This operation was vital to success in the war so that tanks, vehicles, and equipment could be taken to the front lines. The engineers also built pontoon bridges across the Meuse and Rhine Rivers for crossing.

On one occasion, as the 39th division was in the river constructing a bridge, German tanks and soldiers pulled up to the river bank. American tanks pulled up on the other side and an attack ensued. Grover and the other engineers were caught in the crossfire and had to fight hard and fast to survive. Being the largest and bloodiest battle of WWI, infantry divisions were quickly depleted in the Meuse-Argonne Offensive. Manpower situations became so desperate that all available troops, including those slated as training, depot or engineer divisions; such as the 39th; were deployed to the front lines. That included my great-grandpa. He wasn’t trained as a rifleman, but he bravely fulfilled that role when he was called.

     In the midst of battle, Grover suffered the debilitating effects of mustard gas at the hands of the German army. Although he was initially given a gas mask, he was told during an inspection that it was defective and to throw it away. A new one was supposed to be issued to him but was never delivered. The mustard gas he was exposed to caused permanent damage to his lungs and significant respiratory issues for the rest of his life.

     During the war, homing pigeons were used as a new tactic to transfer messages between military lines. The birds carried letters in small canisters around their necks or legs. When they landed in the coop, a bell would ring and a soldier would remove the message from the canister. The 39th division was responsible for several war pigeons and Grover took great pride in caring for them. He mourned over his birds that were shot by enemy troops and tried his best to keep them safe, clean and comfortable. His love of animals, even in time of war, exemplified his loving heart and protective nature.

     The multifarious efforts from the engineers and their assistance in combat were such an advantage to Allied forces in WWI that Germany began to pull back and ultimately, the war came to an end on November 11, 1918. Five months later, my great-grandpa’s unit, the 114th Engineers, returned home to Newport News, Virginia. By the end of his military career, Grover Yelverton was promoted to the rank of Corporal.

     After Grover returned from the war, he married Wessie Butler, a young school teacher from Mize, Mississippi. Industry was changing the world and it was an exciting time in America. For a time, Grover worked on the railroad, a skill he learned in the war, but the lung damage he sustained combined with the physical requirements put him at a disadvantage. His employers were not sympathetic to his plight and rebuked him at times for not working fast enough. He eventually made the difficult decision to trade in his engineering days for farming.

Farming was a livelihood where he could work at his own pace and was a blessing to his young family during the Great Depression. Farming didn’t fill their pocketbooks, but it did fill their bellies. Grover and Wessie became the parents of nine beautiful children. Around 1938, they bought 40 acres of land and built a home and bigger farm.

     The trauma of war created many other struggles for this good man. Loud or sudden noises would make him jumpy and give him flashbacks. My grandmother (his daughter), remembered a time she was in the field with her dad. The approaching drone of a small twin-engine plane in the distance caused him to jump and run toward the trees for cover. That was twenty years or more after he had been in the war and yet, the trauma still lingered.

     At that time, the term “shell-shocked” was newly coined and highly misunderstood. Originally thought to have been brain damage caused by exploding shells, soldiers and veterans who experienced this were considered emotionally weak, lazy and cowardly. They were often reprimanded, labeled, court-martialed and some were even executed for this condition. Once, while confiding in a counselor at the VA hospital about some of his symptoms, Daddy Grover was denied sympathy but told he was probably “just schizophrenic”. Dejected, he vowed to never return to the VA.

     With such limited resources, many veterans turned to alcohol to self-medicate but thankfully, somehow, my great-grandpa escaped that trap. Instead, he found therapy in nature- gardening and taking long walks in the woods. I wonder what occupied his thoughts on those moments of solitude. I imagine he battled feelings of inadequacy, fear, and anxiety but I also hope that he felt God’s love and grace as he navigated through those storms of life. He found companionship in his beloved mule, Henry, but ultimately, his oldest son, “Brother”, became his best friend and confidant. Daddy Grover was very protective of his children and made it his personal responsibility to keep others out of harm’s way. It is my personal belief that his strong nature to protect and defend was a blessing to many during his war days.

     For the man whose future at one point seemed full of possibility and adventure, those ambitions were ultimately shelved for a simpler life. He gave so much to our freedoms and the price he paid was loss of respect and health. And though he may have been disheartened by his limitations, the time he spent sharing simple joys with his children and grandchildren- like how to pull up a row of peanuts in one fell swoop or how to cut a watermelon like a champ are the moments I wish I could have witnessed with my own eyes.

     After a lifetime of wheezing, pain, and coughing, William Grover Yelverton died in 1965 at the age of 73 from lung cancer due to damage sustained from mustard gas. I never got to know him in this life, but earthly bounds can’t break the connection I feel to him.

     Today marks 101 years since the Armistice was signed that ended WWI and I’d like to pay homage to him and that great event that preserved my great-grandfather’s life, and gave me the opportunity to be born. Although this tribute to Daddy Grover is long overdue, his sacrifice has never expired. The opportunities he dreamed of and fought for may not have been enjoyed in his own life, but were gifted to me instead. I am humbled to have him as my hero.

In honor of Veteran’s Day, I would like to express my gratitude to all who have sacrificed- veterans and their families, friends and communities- that personally paid for our freedom. Thank you!

How To Connect with your Ancestors

How To Connect with your Ancestors

     Can we really learn more about OURSELVES by studying our ancestors? Many people talk about having a connection with those who have gone before but there are also some who do not believe that privilege is available to everyone and question whether they are entitled to that kind of experience.  I personally and emphatically believe we all can find connections to our ancestors! You just have to know how to access it- or even know how to get started.  

     These tips are in no certain order, (in fact, you can pick and choose from these ideas), but are a few ways to begin to connect to YOUR ancestors.

READ THEIR STORIES

If you are fortunate enough to have written stories and memories of your ancestors, read them! Stories have the power to connect us with others in a way that nothing else can. As you read those stories, try to relate and imagine what they went through. What qualities did your ancestor possess that are admirable to you? What similarities do you find in their stories to your life? Do you notice any personality similarities? Even if their experiences were different than your own, ponder why they told the stories they did. What do you think they wanted their posterity to know? Why were they important to document and share? Take time to appreciate the gift of those stories and memories. They truly are a gift!

FIND, STUDY, & COMPARE THEIR PHOTOS

 This photo comparison above is of my great grandmother on the left and my daughter on the right Aren’t they both so beautiful? I’m so proud! And although my daughter may not be an exact spitting-image of her great-great-grandmother, I definitely see a close resemblance. I absolutely love doing photo comparisons with my family photos. It’s so fun to see how different family members can take after someone so much- even a few generations back.

 Some of you may say, “Well, you are so lucky to have photos of your ancestors because I don’t have any!” If so, guess what? Neither did I when I began this journey.  I literally had NONE!

Through researching my family, I was able to find some online (Mostly on Ancestry.com) and I found many others through asking extended family members- often times, I did not know them beforehand. 

Don’t have any (or many) photos of your ancestors? No problem. Check out my tried-and-true method for finding some!

Click the link below.  

Once you have gathered some photos, take the time to study them. Look at your ancestors’ features and expressions (remember that many old cameras had very slow shutters, and the subjects were told not to smile but sit very still so that the photo wouldn’t be blurry). Observe their clothes, their surroundings, and any other clues you can glean from the picture.

What can you gather about their lives from that photo? Make a list of ideas. As you study their features, what or who do you see? Do you see any similarities to yourself or other family members? Do some side by side comparisons and look for resemblances. Makes notes of your observations so you can combine your ideas with additional research.

When I began to make photo comparisons with my own ancestors’ photos and my living family, I had a fascinating realization. It seems to me when there’s a physical connection; there is often a very spiritual connection to those ancestors too. We inherit more than physical features. Personality, temperament, and talents are also often inherited.

Family history can be a mirror into who we are and why- if you are willing to look! The beautiful thing is that we usually reflect traits from more than one ancestor, although sometimes we may favor one more than another. This gives us the opportunity to investigate many ancestors and find connections with each one of them. Photos are a fun place to explore, but they, alone, will not teach you enough about your ancestors to make a genuine connection. You need details of their life as well.

Research your ancestor's life

To really get to know your ancestors, you need to research their life and gather as many details as you can. Collect the unwritten stories and details from living family members if available.  If that isn’t possible, study their life through their records and historical context.  Here is a simple checklist to get you started:  

    1. Start by creating a timeline of your ancestor’s life from birth to death dates. As you review documents and information, you can fill in the events and places. This will also show you any “gaps” in information and years and help you to know what to look for. 
    2. As mentioned earlier, look for stories on family history sites such as Family Search and Ancestry that other family members have contributed. Benefit from the work of others! 
    3. Use census reports to learn where they were born, where they lived during that census, what their profession was, and who they lived with, etc. Census reports can sometimes give you a lot of information. Make sure the VIEW THE IMAGE as it often has more information than what is given on the index. 
    4. Research the geography and legal history of your family’s location. Understanding these factors can give you a deeper perspective of the circumstances of your family and also help you to understand why they made the choices they did.
    5. Land records can give you specific information and dates to the family homestead and can help you to know when they may have moved from another town/ state/ country to their new land. 
    6. Church records can help confirm vital events like births/ baptisms, marriages, and deaths.
    7. Family records, such as found in family bibles, can give wonderful details into birth, marriage, and death information for family members. This is especially helpful for children who may not have lived long enough to be on a census record. I have found some of these bible records on Ancestry.com.
    8. Newspapers can hold a treasure trove of information- and even photos. You can often find birth, marriage, military, death, and relocation announcements- not to mention this is where you may find some mysteries and scandals!
    9. Document all the children they had and research them as well. By researching the whole family, you will discover a much richer story and find answers to questions than you would if you only research your direct line ancestors. 
    10. Find out if any of their children died young or went off to war, etc.
    11. What difficulties and trials did they overcome?
    12. Look in family books if available. These can be invaluable resources. Click the link below for a tutorial on how to find these books {for FREE} online.  

    After you have compiled all the information you can find on your ancestor, review it and think about their life from a personal stand-point. These were real people with real lives. What did they overcome? What did they work to accomplish? What was their legacy? 

    Get your DNA TESTED!

    And get your family members to test too!

    ‘DNA and genetics are truly remarkable! I continue to be enlightened by this journey of learning of my ancestors through my DNA results. I took a DNA test through Ancestry.com and have loved their features and results! Their genetic bank is the largest in the world (hence more matches), their science is advancing very quickly, and I am learning new things all the time about who I am through my DNA! 

    I never thought I looked like either of my parents very much but now I think I mostly take after two of my great grandparents. As I gathered any known information from living family members about them, I was so amazed to see that my DNA confirmed that I had a very strong genetic connection to those great grandparents. 

    The first one is my great grandmother in the photo posted above with my daughter. Her name was Ellen and I was the only child to inherit her blood type (that skipped two generations before passed down to me). She was my father’s paternal grandmother.  (If you’d like to read more about how my connection to her grew through a very difficult time in my life, you can READ HERE.) 

    I also feel a special connection and kinship to my great-grandfather on my mothers side. I got his close-set eyes (my mom did not! She got her dad’s Irish eyes ). I’ve learned through stories about him that I also got his over-protectiveness. I am not very outspoken but if someone I love is being threatened, all inhibitions go out the window. I can defend others much better than I can defend myself! Go figure. Ha! I was amazed upon doing our DNA tests to learn that I matched his side of the family higher than my sisters did. So, was my spirit connected and drawn to him as well? I believe it was. 

    Quick DNA Match Lesson

    You can learn more about your DNA by comparing your amount of cM’s that you share with  cousin matches in your DNA results.

    Centimorgans (cM) are the units of measurable repetitive pieces of DNA that you share with family that are used to determine relationships.

    If you you share more cM’s with cousins on your grandmother’s side than your grandfather’s side, then you can start to determine that you may take after your grandmother’s side more. You’ll need to compare as many cousins as possible to get more accurate conclusions. This process will be exponentially enhanced when you have siblings also take a DNA test and they share their results with you!   Viewing their results or asking them to compare their # of cM with different family lines can show you which of you match cousins higher and having their results to compare with can show you if you are higher or lower with certain family members.

    For example, if my sister and I both look at our cousin match, Joseph Brown, and she shares 328 cM’s and I have 435 cM’s, then there’s the likelihood that I have more Brown DNA.

    Cousin Matches on ancestry

     This picture above is an example of cousin matches on Ancestry. The best cousin matches are the ones with a tree (see circled tree symbol with # of people in tree under name and description). If there is a green leaf beside their tree, that means you both have the same person(s) in your family trees on Ancestry and you can click on that leaf to see your connection to them. That feature will help you to figure out your relation. Also circled is the amount to cM’s shared under the name.

    Make notes of each family line that you are connected strongly to -emotionally or genetically- and any details that described the family.  What were their lives like? What were their livelihoods, talents, traditions, religion, etc.  How do you feel about each of those lifestyles? Have you shared any similar life experiences? 

    Also, make a list of WHO YOU ARE to the core.  What are your talents, fears, beliefs, etc.  Start making comparisons to see if you think any of those things could be inherited. How are you similar or different from your immediate family members? If everyone was a product of their environment, then all siblings would turn out the same.  Right? (Or, for the most part.)

    But they don’t. There is much more to us than just environmental influences and genetics play a big role in who we are. 

    This may sound like a tedious process, but actually, it is so FUN!  You will find that discovering connections typically won’t be difficult or forced at all.  As you learn about your ancestors or look at that photo, you will feel something inside of you. It will come naturally. Sometimes you will connect over a similarity or common trait or talent.  But most often, you will connect over love. As you discover what your ancestor’s life was like, even if you can’t relate, you will have an admiration for them and love them for their strength, faith, and endurance.  That connection will continue to grow and you will feel that they are part of you and you are part of them. 

    And really, weren’t they all along? I certainly believe so! I just think we may not have taken the time to notice.  Learning about my ancestors has been one of the greatest things I have ever done.  It’s hard to explain the power and love that accompanies this journey- much like it is hard to explain a parent’s love for a child.  But it is natural and incredibly strong and can come on so suddenly.  If you haven’t had that experience yet, don’t give up. Keep learning and searching and one day, I know you will have an opportunity to love and connect with your ancestors. 

    Have you had any experiences connecting with your ancestors? I’d love to hear about it. Comment below! 

    The Secret to Strong & Happy Families

    The Secret to Strong & Happy Families

    The Challenge of Our Day

    One of the biggest struggles families face today is learning how to navigate through the challenges and unknowns of smartphones and social media. The research is starting to roll in about the toll it can take on mental and emotional health.   

    As a parent myself, I worry about the obstacles my children face in a world that is different than the one I grew up in. We have not been trained by our own parents on how to raise a family in this environment. We are the first generation to tread this path and we are learning as we go. However, the thought of our children being guinea pigs isn’t very comforting. I do not believe that technology is bad. There are many wonderful benefits to having these tools and resources! But, I believe most parents want to know how to keep their families balanced and strong. 

     

    A HOPEFUL STUDY

    I was intrigued when I came across an article in The New York Times Magazine entitled “The Stories that Bind Us”, that offered some amazing insight on helping families in today’s world. It has become one of my favorites. The author asked the questions, “What is the secret sauce that holds a family together? What are the ingredients that make some families effective, resilient, happy?”  (Bruce Feiler, 2013) 

    Fortunately for us, Feiler spent a few YEARS researching this question! I am only highlighting the conclusion of his studies, so I highly recommend you use the link below to read the entire article. It is very insightful!

    Feiler says, “The single most important thing you can do for your family may be the simplest of all: develop a strong family narrative.”

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